Second night this week that I've seen 5:20a from the wrong side -- wrong for someone who works a M-F day shift, anyway. And not even for good reasons (an all-nighter with someone worth losing sleep over, for example). No, my companion for these evenings has been pain (i.e. a malevolent and thoroughly irritating houseguest who showed up on my doorstep some years ago, mumbled a story about being an old family friend, slumped down into my nervous system, propped is feet up-- and despite all sorts of hints, interventions, and downright confrontations, hasn't shown any sign of leaving. I considered lighting his ass on fire in the middle of the night but he said "dollink, it's gonna hurt you more than it hurts me."". My doctor thinks he's probably right.

Meanwhile, my late nightTV education is in full swing. The other night I learned that the best way to cool down an overheated moose is to give him an ice-water enema. [The moose ultimately died of heatstroke despite the best efforts of a Maine state biologist -- or maybe of fear when he saw the anxious-looking biologist approaching him with the business end of the enema equipment).

I'm home from HAI Level 1-- my first HAI workshop in about 5 years. I went to gender-balance a friend who I had introduced to HAI. I'm bone-tired, sore from sitting on the floor all weekend -- and happy. It was good to be home again. :)

Posted via LiveJournal app for iPhone.

Not to be outdone by the antics of New Puppy, Andy gets a makeover by sticking his face into the ash chamber of my Weber grill.

Posted via LiveJournal app for iPhone.

3:00a
%
I thought puppies were supposed to sleep,

3:15a

Oh good - she slept. For ten minutes. And snored like a sailor.

4:00a

Who the hell poops at 4:00 in the morning?

4:30a

Oh wow. She does know how to bark after all.

4:42a

Oh come on. Please don't bring the squeaky toy in here. Please don't...oh good. It's not the squeaky toy, it's just one of my favorite slippers.

4:47a

OMFG! that smell CAN'T have come from you.. You are way too small to produce a smell like that.

5:16a

oh NONONOnonono....Ah, fuck it. At least she's confining all of her poops to one corner. One corner of the living room, granted, but...

Whose f$cking idea was this "let's get a puppy!" thing anyway?


** Night of the L.D. #1 was my first night home with Michael after a C-section. At least that baby didn't eat my slipper.

Posted via LiveJournal app for iPhone.

She's 4 months old, a rescue dog, a shepherd?/Ridgeback?/who knows mix, cute, calm, sweet, fearless (although she hasn't yet approached Oreo the Snarling Bristling Cat of Doom, probably a good idea right now).

PUPPEH!! )

Just finished a report for work that couldn't be put off till...tomorrow? Today? A few hours from now? Yeah. That.

There are no words that can describe how much I'm looking forward to my bed. [So why am I sitting here typing at you people? Geez. G"night already.]

Posted via LiveJournal app for iPad.

zpdiduda: (green man)
Gentle readers: If you know of anyone who booked a room at the Doubletree for PCon weekend and will not be using it, please let me know. In prior years I've lucked into cancellations at about this time in January, but no luck so far. Thanks for your help!

Edited to add: With the convention expanding so much in numbers every year, it occurs to me that friendships alone might not get me into the D-Tree -- and I really prefer staying there to staying at one of the outlying hotels.

So - I'm adding a bribe threat reward this year:

If you can hook me up with a room* at the San Jose D-Tree for PCon weekend (2/18-20), I will make you a cake**, of my own original design, in any theme you choose.***



...what? hey! what's wrong? why are you running away?! where are you going? ..can I come too?

I've got a room! Yay! Now just waiting for the cake order...:)



*Valid only for first room offered. Room must have bed, toilet, window and bathtub and be within D-Tree building. Room must not be otherwise occupied by humans, magical spirits or bedbugs without invitation by me.

**Cake will encompass at least one Twinkie. In addition to Twinkie, portions of cake may be inedible. Portions of cake may be edible. Maybe. Photos of past cake creations available upon request.

***The term "any theme you choose" excludes themes involving nonconsensual sexual acts, including acts with minors or animals. Themes involving sexual acts with Twinkies not subject to blanket exclusion but must be negotiated both with cake creator and with baked good. No warranty express or implied. Void where prohibited. YMMV.
My gift to you is Tim Minchin's Christmas song, "White Wine in the Sun". I hope that you find it to be well worth 6:27 minutes of your Christmas Day.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fCNvZqpa-7Q

With love,

Zp (a nondenominational pagan-oriented person of secular suburban Jewish origin whose traditional bah-humbug demeanor caves on Christmas Eve and Day to her love of Christmas carols [particularly "O Holy Night", the beauty of which invariably brings her to tears], little girls in Christmas dresses, twinkling lights, ham and - most of all - family, of all ilk )

My internet at home has been down for days and I'm not good at typing on my phone. If I haven't responded to something that I should (or would likely) respond to, that's why.

That said, thanks to those who sent birthday wishes!
Why is Rush Limbaugh always so cranky?

Too little fiber in his diet?
Too many Obamas in the White House?
Seven traditional marriages and still can't get laid?

Personally, I think that Rush is so cranky because people don't like him. And that people don't like him because he's cranky.

Also, because he's unattractive.

Rush says that "[f]eminism was established so as to allow unattractive women easier access to the mainstream of
society." **

Unfortunately, Rush isn't likely to become a feminist, so that won't work for him.

Tonight, though, it occurred to me: if Rush were attractive, maybe he'd be find society more accessible. Maybe he'd even make some friends despite his crankiness!!

So I gave him a makeover. )

**Citation omitted. Look it up your damn self.
How do I get a scared little bird out of my living room?? I think the cat must have carried it in this morning -- it managed to fly up to the ceiling fan and is now sitting on a fan blade, cheeping pitifully. Its feathers look ruffled and damp, but it's not obviously injured.


Why we couldn't put the leftover pizza away last night.

Posted via LiveJournal.app.

Safe in Honolulu after a very disturbing flight experience. I was among the last to board and there was limited space in the overhead compartments. One compartment had only a briefcase and two straw hats. After asking who owned the hats and getting no response, i shifted the hats over and put my bag up. A couple of minutes later, a man came down the aisle to where i sat.

(switching to present tense, it's easier)
He is redfaced and angry, hat in hand. He
tells me that i damaged his hat and he's goiing to make me pay the $100 he spent on it. I tell him fhat I'm sorry, but that I see no damage. His hands ball int fists around the hat. He goes into a rage, screaming. Calls me a stupid clumsy bitch. He's going to take me to small claims court. Says that i have to give him my ID. Adrenalin now flowing, i tell him that if he doesnt back down I will call Security. We can talk about this later in the flight and sort out what to do. He says no, we're going to talk about it NOW. He is now towering over my seat in total rage mode. I refuse to give him my ID.

Throughout all of this, the fucking United flight attendants are preparing the plane for takeoff and ignoring us completely. I am about to yell for a Flight Marshal. There is supposed to be one on every plane now, incognito. Fortunately, a couple of passengers stood up and talked the guy into returning to his seat.

Passengers came up to me throughout the flight to check in with me, to tell me what an asshole the guy had been. One told me that I'd done the guy a favor because it was such a cheap-ass fugly hat. I eventually started to breathe again.

Now I'm having a late lunch on the beach in Waikiki. Tomorrow I'll be spending the day in offices. Going to drink a stupid drink or two -- umbrelllas and fruit, preferably in a tiki mug -- and enjoy a Hawaiian sunset.

Posted via LiveJournal.app.

Sent from my aunt in Baltimore, where the snow continues to fall:

zpdiduda: (goddess)
From my elementary school friend Rocky Lopes*, former Manager of Disaster Education for the Red Cross and now a consultant on disaster education and relief:

STOP setting up clothing drives! Unsolicited material donations are frequently referred to as "the second disaster." They don't need clothes. They need medical supplies, helicopters, appropriate food (no, this does not mean you should start a canned food drive), and trained personnel. Organizations helping them need CASH. If you have donated clothes, have a yard sale and donate the proceeds.

*We reconnected on Facebook.
Did one of you leave a navy wool winter coat in M's closet?
Felt it at SF Civic Center, on the 18th floor.
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