No thanks necessary, Rush - I'm just glad I could help

Why is Rush Limbaugh always so cranky?

Too little fiber in his diet?
Too many Obamas in the White House?
Seven traditional marriages and still can't get laid?

Personally, I think that Rush is so cranky because people don't like him. And that people don't like him because he's cranky.

Also, because he's unattractive.

Rush says that "[f]eminism was established so as to allow unattractive women easier access to the mainstream of
society." **

Unfortunately, Rush isn't likely to become a feminist, so that won't work for him.

Tonight, though, it occurred to me: if Rush were attractive, maybe he'd be find society more accessible. Maybe he'd even make some friends despite his crankiness!!

( So I gave him a makeover. )

_{**Citation omitted. Look it up your damn self.}